A lot of people feel tired with all the “steps” before marriage — merisik, bertunang, hantaran tinggi…
But here’s the truth:
👉 In Islam, the most important thing is the akad nikah.
Everything else? It’s culture (adat) — and culture can be adjusted.
🤔 So Why Do These Traditions Exist?
- Merisik (pre-check stage)
Originally meant to understand someone’s character quietly — not just a formal visit for show. - Engagement (khitbah)
A proper way for families to meet, discuss, and ensure both sides are serious.
But today? Many people follow these traditions without understanding the purpose, turning something meaningful into something stressful.
⚖️ Balance Between Adat & Reality
Ask yourself:
- Does this tradition bring value or just pressure?
- Is it helping your relationship — or delaying it?
If it’s beneficial (like gathering family, strengthening ukhuwah), go for it.
If it becomes a burden, it’s okay to simplify.
👉 Marriage is not about impressing people.
👉 It’s about building a life together.
💸 The Reality of Hantaran (Dowry)
Let’s be real…
RM40K, RM50K — not everyone can afford that, especially fresh grads.
But here’s a smarter way:
- Discuss openly
- Understand where the money goes (catering, tents, etc.)
- Adjust based on your ability
Because at the end of the day…
👉 Marriage should not start with financial stress.
💭 Overthinking vs Reality
Some people say:
“I’m not ready… too many commitments.”
But at the same time…
Still dating, still spending time together, no clear direction.
So the question is:
👉 Are you serious — or just passing time?
Don’t overthink the halal, but ignore the boundaries.
❤️ A Reminder
In some parts of the world, like war zones, people don’t delay marriage.
They value commitment, responsibility, and building a future — even in hardship.
Meanwhile, we delay… not because we can’t, but because we overthink.
📖 Ready to Build a Strong Relationship?
If you’re confused about love, marriage, or preparing for the next step…
There’s a guide that can help you:
✨ From before marriage → to after marriage
✨ Practical advice, real-life tips, and guidance
👉 Don’t wait until it’s too late to understand relationships.
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